Back in October of 2011,
Seth MacFarlane told the Hollywood Reporter that one thing he wanted to do Star
Trek, and see it “revived for television in the way that it
was in the 1990s: very thoughtful, smartly written stories that transcend the
science fiction audience.” Well, since nobody’s given him the keys to that
franchise, he’s done what any insanely
talented show creator would do, and he made his own. In “The Orville” we have a
not-quite top-of-the-line starship, with a crew that’s not likely to see a lot
of Good Conduct medals any time soon, led by a captain who is, in the words of
the admiral who gives him the job, “nobody’s first choice.” But with over 3,000 ships and a need for
captains, even shmucks can catch a break in this fleet.
The dialogue is snappy, the
characters clearly aren’t the perfect specimens of TNG (which already makes
them more interesting right from the get-go), the ship looks plausible, and was
clearly designed with the same premise as the Protector in “Galaxy Quest”,
don’t look like the Enterprise. The
interplay between the captain and his first officer/ex-wife is clearly a comedy
gold mine that MacFarlane and his writers are going to mine for all its worth. In short, for those disaffected Star Trek
fans who have been feeling neglected of late, the USS Orville is coming to the
rescue.
Because the USS Discovery
doesn’t appear to be up for the job.
After watching the
long-delayed trailer for the latest attempt at a Star Trek series, while it
looks very pretty and the visuals are rather stunning in places, I still come
back with the feeling of, just what in the name of the Holy Rings of Betazed
did I just watch?
With an opening title card
of “Ten years before Kirk, Spock, and the Enterprise”, we’re already into foul
territory. Ten years before TOS was
set, we’ve still got the Enterprise, about ten years old by this point, under
the command of Captain Christopher Pike, with his half-Vulcan science officer
named Spock, right around the time they’re receiving a distress call from the
SS Columbia in the vicinity of the Talos Star Group. Keep that in mind when watching that trailer, kids, because for
all the spectacular visuals, not one blessed frame of that footage comes even
close to fitting in with that time period, especially from the moment Michelle
Yeoh flips open her non-appropriate communicator and she and her first officer
disappear in a transporter effect that doesn’t match ANY era of Star Trek,
especially not the 2250’s. We are then
presented with the USS Shenzhou, a ship that would be right at home alongside
the Enterprise-E or Voyager, but again, this is the 2250, when the original
Enterprise is sailing around, still sporting spikes on her Bussard domes. The producers are clearly taking their
design cues from the JJverse, despite swearing up and down that this show would
take place in the “Prime timeline”.
Take a look at that underside mounted bridge, with the safety hazard low
lighting and support beams and the crew in their blue marching band uniforms,
then saunter on over to trekcore.com and check out any screencap of the bridge
from “The Cage”, and honestly ask yourself how these two ships could possibly
exist in the same Starfleet in the same era.
Ain’t happening, kids.
Ironically enough, the least
distressing part of this whole thing is the appearance of the Klingons, despite
these guys not looking like any Klingons we’ve ever seen before, outside of
the JJverse, that is, because, like the guys over on Trekyards said, all
they have to do is show us a time appropriate Klingon, with no ridges and evil
goatee, and that controversy pretty much goes away, since we can now shuffle
these guys over to the side as “not your normal Klingons”. However, in
view of all the other unforced errors this trailer presents us with, I’m
growing less hopeful that they’ll take that save and we’ll be presented as just
plain old, everyday Klingons, and the final nail in the continuity coffin will
be nailed in.
Did anyone at CBS get the
memo that, domestically, “Star Trek Beyond” was a colossal flop? That the movie that they’re so slavishly
trying to emulate, was soundly rejected by the American audience, which is
usually where the core support for any Star Trek project begins and ends? Instead of sucking up to the JJverse
following, dwindling as we speak, they should’ve taken a page from one3 of
Enterprise’s most popular offerings, “In A Mirror, Darkly…” and reproduce the
look of “The Cage”, right down to the embroidered insignia patches on the
velour uniforms and the silver painted ammo belts. Castigate Alec Peters all you want for single-handedly screwing up the fan film industry, the one
thing Axanar was clearly getting right was the look of that time period.
Bottom line, it looks like
the good Star Trek series we’ll be getting this fall will be from Seth
MacFarlane over on Fox, for free. The
one over on CBS All Access, not so much, unless we start getting some reshoots
on the order of Suicide Squad.
Otherwise, this one’s DOA.
April out.
